By Janet Krebs, CONNECT 4 Kids Parenting Coach
Have you ever had those moments where lots of thoughts come together and you think, “Oh, I get it now!”
I talk a lot about leadership in my consulting work. Parenting is one important form of leadership. I also talk about how families have the keys to getting a jump start on kicking this mental health crisis to the curb. One of the main keys is science-based, so I geek out about this a lot.
There are three C’s to addressing the mental health crisis and my favorite one to talk about is CONNECTION.
Connection is key. You don’t need a PhD or a fat wallet to be an expert at connection. This got me thinking about a personal story about my daughter Elisa and the weekend we spent shopping for her wedding dress.
She flew from Texas and had friends fly in from Chicago and New York, so it was to be a fun girl’s weekend. There were three appointments at different dress shops and of course a break for lunch. I was invited to be included in the day, along with my mother-in-law.
It touched me that Elisa had included me and her grandmother. It was going to be a long day shlepping from shop to shop. At lunch I said, “Thank you for including me in this special day.” Her response in a ‘duh’ tone of voice was, “Mom, of course I would include you!” I reminded her that there are plenty of people, plenty of parents who are estranged from their adult kids. I know plenty and we have some in our own family.
What had I done to maintain a strong connection within our family? Little lunch box notes, a listening ear, time, and presence? It wasn’t always unicorns and butterflies. Boundaries, consequences, and clear expectations also helped us form strong relationships.
Make your deposits when they’re under your roof and build solid connections. Connection is the glue that holds it all together, and when you invest in those connections while they are with you, they will withstand the test of time. Once they leave you, staying connected must be paramount in your core values within your family. When they are flown and grown you’ll see your investment pay off.
