One of my very favorite podcasts is We Can Do Hard Things with author and speaker Glennon Doyle, US women’s soccer star Abby Wambach, and attorney and philanthropist Amanda Doyle. An episode that aired last spring really got my wheels spinning about how and why youth sports have become SO intense, and how I can best support my boys as they play. In “Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports” (April 29, 2025), author and coach Linda Flanagan drew from her book Take Back the Game and offered guidance for parents who want to support their children’s athletic lives without burning them out. Here are the three core concepts I took from the episode:
1. Avoid Early Specialization
Flanagan warns against the growing trend of early sports specialization—where kids focus intensely on a single sport, year-round, from a young age. While many parents believe this gives their child a competitive edge, studies show it leads to higher rates of injury, burnout, and even lower long-term performance. My boys have pretty much settled on two or three sports throughout the year, but they came to those decisions after trying several options through summer camps. We know that travel teams are likely on the horizon, but we’ll be sure to have family conversations about time, effort, and budget.
2. Step Off the Sideline Stage
Many parents unintentionally tie their identity or hopes to their child’s performance. Flanagan urges parents to be a supportive presence, not a sideline critic or constant evaluator. (Boy did that one hit close to home!) Rather than coaching from the stands or pressuring kids after games, she suggests asking open-ended questions like, “Did you have fun?” or “What did you learn today?”
The hosts also pointed out that it’s completely healthy to drop your kids off (at a reasonable age, of course) for practices and even games and not stay to watch. That helps them bond with their coach and team rather than be concerned about what you’re seeing and thinking on the sideline. I’m a work in progress on that point.
3. Focus on Joy, Not Achievement
A child’s worth should never be measured by wins, stats, or rankings. Flanagan shares stories of athletes who felt crushed by unrealistic expectations, even as they performed well. Parents should work to de-emphasize trophies and outcomes and instead help kids build resilience, connection, and confidence through sports. My youngest recently asked if I would be proud of him if he made an advanced-level team this fall, and I assured him that my love for him will never be tied to his performance in school or sports. He gave me a big smile– I think that was comforting to him.
We’re still fairly early in the sports journey with our boys, but learning these and other #sportsmom lessons now can help me keep my cool, focus on their goals and interests, and also set realistic expectations and boundaries. If you’re on the same path, best wishes and you’ve got this!
