Janet Krebs, Parent Coach
I don’t know of a single parent that doesn’t complain about homework time. I want to help so today we are continuing John Rosemont’s ABC’s of homework. Previously we did A, which was All by Myself. Today we discuss B which is Back Off. In the homework hours this means do not rescue, do not: just don’t give them help. So, you’re thinking, “well, Janet, what do I do then? My kids are like, mom, mom, mom in rapid fire succession.”
Back off! You must be unavailable. School kids are working in a space away from you. Out of sight. Now you can’t help them on a casual whim. You can’t ask if they need help. Can’t judge the lighting, hopefully you have already created a conducive workspace. If you hear music or fists pounding, you ignore it.
If they come to you with the cry of “I don’t get this”, or Mom, I need help, well now the child is asking for help vs. you simply offering it before needed. Then, what do you do? You go in and exercise my two tips. Trust me, I have used this in over 20 years of education. The two things that saved my sanity at school and with my own kids. These two very simple questions are writer downers. When kids say, “I don’t get this”, your response is, “what are you reading that you don’t understand?” This puts the responsibility right back on them because they’re probably not reading completely. This is often an eye roll moment.
Another popular cry for help is “I don’t get this. I don’t know what to do.” Then I would say, “ask me a question I can answer” because ‘I don’t get it’ is a declarative statement so, I don’t know how to help you. Ask me a question I can answer. Two perfect questions. These will be game changers, I promise.
I would love it if you would practice, share these tools with people that you know. If your kids are older and this is a non-issue, send this to somebody who could use it, that’s got school-age kids that are still battling with homework.
Every household is different, but boy, I’ll tell you, if you get a handle on this, and remove the angst around homework, your evenings will return to harmony and calm. The hassles around the homework are simply not worth it. It’s not your job to do it. School is the job of our kids and this is simply part of their job.
Next time I will complete the series and cover ‘C’ of the ABC series also sure to make you think. That’s all for now. I hope you’re having a blessed day. I spoke to somebody the other day that’s bucket was empty. So please remember to put something in your own bucket today. When your bucket at least has something in it, you’ve got more to share. Have a great rest of your day and stay warm. Ciao for now.